Last month, a communications VP told me she’d lost her third high performer in six months. “I don’t get it,” she said. “We pay competitively. We have good benefits. What am I missing?” She was missing the real connection between employee retention and workplace respect.

A Georgetown University study of nearly 20,000 employees worldwide revealed the #1 thing employees want from their workplace isn’t money, benefits, or perks.  It’s respect.

And here’s what drives me nuts about this finding: those who don’t get respect are acutely aware of its absence. While you’re wondering why your best people are leaving, they’re sitting across from you feeling fundamentally disrespected—and they’re already talking to recruiters.

What the Research Actually Shows

The Georgetown study found that feeling respected by superiors topped the list of what matters most to employees. It ranked higher than:

• Recognition and rewards
• Opportunities for learning and development
• Job security
• Autonomy
• Even work-life balance

Yet the same study found a big problem: leaders often have an incomplete understanding of what constitutes workplace respect. They think they’re being respectful when their teams feel the opposite.

This isn’t a minor issue. Employees who experience disrespectful or uncivil behavior report it each year at increasing rates. And they’re not staying to see if things improve, they’re leaving.

Yes, even in today’s tightened communications employment environment.

The Gap Between What Leaders Think and What Teams Feel

In my coaching practice with PR and communications leaders, I see this gap constantly. Leaders who genuinely believe they respect their teams, but whose turnover numbers tell a different story.

A managing director I coached had 40% annual turnover. She was baffled. “I care about my team. I fight for their raises. I protect them from difficult clients.”

All true. But in one-on-ones with her team (conducted by HR, not me), a pattern emerged: she would publicly criticize work in front of clients. She’d overrule decisions without explanation. She’d promise input on strategy, then announce her decision before the meeting.

Did she intend disrespect? Absolutely not. Did her team feel disrespected? Every single day.

What Respect Actually Looks Like in Leadership

After coaching dozens of leaders through retention crises, here’s what I’ve learned: respect isn’t about being nice. It’s about how you treat people when things go wrong, when you’re under pressure, when you disagree.

Respect shows up in specific, observable behaviors:

You listen more than you talk.

Research from Zenger and Folkman’s study of 50,000 executives found that leaders who prefer listening are rated as significantly more effective than those who spend most of their time talking. When you truly listen, not just prepare what you’re going to say when it’s your turn to speak, people feel respected.

You’re consistent.

Nothing undermines respect faster than inconsistency. The leader who’s collaborative on Monday and dictatorial on Thursday. The one who says “we’re a team” but makes unilateral decisions. In leadership, consistency is everything.

You stand by your people. Michelle Egan, PRSA’s 2023 President and Chief Communications Officer at Alyeska Pipeline Service Company, told me: “When I ask someone to take on challenges or make decisions, they will make mistakes and I’m going to stand by them. Their mistakes are my mistakes too.”

That’s respect. Not protecting people from consequences, but owning the outcomes together.

You communicate respect even when giving critical feedback. One of the benefits I work on with coaching clients is “assisting executives and managers to lead more effectively across all directions: up (to the CEO or other bosses), across (peers), and down (those they supervise).” A huge part of that is delivering feedback that’s both honest and respectful.

We used to talk about the “Feedback Sandwich”: Something they did right, what they did wrong, something they did right.

But that’s proven ineffective. While you’re telling them what they did right, they’re not listening, because they’re just waiting for you to “lower the boom.” You do so, and then they’re not listening to you when they tell you what they did right. They’re just focused on what they did wrong.

Instead, I encourage my clients to provide truly constructive feedback that’s consistently honest, kind, direct and diplomatic. All at that same time.

And I encourage them rather than focus on what the person did wrong, give them full feedback that encompasses everything they did right, as well as the things which must be improved going forward.

The Business Case for Respect

Let me be direct about something: I’m not asking you to prioritize respect because it’s “kind”  or “the right thing to do.” Though it is both.

I’m asking you to prioritize respect because disrespect is expensive.

When your best people leave:

• Replacement costs are 50-200% of annual salary (Society for Human Resource Management)
• You lose institutional knowledge
• Remaining team members absorb the work (and start looking elsewhere)
• Client relationships suffer
• Your reputation in the industry takes a hit

What About the Money Question?

“But Ken,” you might be saying, “people do leave for money. I’ve seen it.”

Fair point. Yes, sometimes compensation matters. But here’s what research consistently shows: when people leave primarily for money, it’s often because other factors (like respect) were already missing.

People don’t leave jobs they love for a 10% raise. They leave jobs where they feel disrespected, undervalued, or stuck. And the money is just the justification they give you (and themselves).

I’ve seen this pattern repeatedly: a leader loses someone “to a better offer,” then is shocked when three more people leave in the next six months. It wasn’t the money. It was the environment that made money feel like the only reason to stay.

The Consolidation Reality

With the Omnicom-IPG consolidation eliminating more than 10,000 positions, and similar cuts across the industry, I believe respect matters more than ever.

Your remaining team members are scared. They’re watching who gets cut and who stays. They’re updating their LinkedIn profiles. They’re wondering if loyalty matters anymore.

This is exactly when respect becomes the difference between the talent you keep and the talent you lose.

The leaders who will retain their best people through this disruption aren’t the ones promising job security (because who can?). They’re the ones demonstrating respect: being transparent about what they know and don’t know, standing by their teams, making decisions with integrity, and treating people with dignity regardless of their position or tenure.

Your Action Plan

If you suspect respect might be an issue on your team, here’s what to do:

1. Get feedback. Not just the once a year in a 360. Regularly, anonymously, specifically. Ask: “Do you feel respected in your day-to-day work? What would make you feel more respected?”
2. Check your consistency. Ask yourself: How do I behave when I’m stressed, behind schedule, or frustrated? That’s when your true respect (or lack of it) shows. Better yet, get do #1 and get feedback on that specific issue.
3. Listen to your exit interviews. If people mention “culture,” “leadership style,” or “communication” as reasons for leaving, they’re telling you about respect. Listen.
4. Look at your language. Do you interrupt? Dismiss ideas without explanation? Make unilateral decisions after asking for input? These signal disrespect, even if you don’t intend them to.
5. Stand by your people publicly. The next time something goes wrong, resist the urge to point fingers. Ask yourself: “How do I share responsibility for this outcome?”

The Leadership Choice

Here’s what I tell every leader I coach: your team’s decision to follow you, truly follow you, not just report to you, is a choice they make every single day. They’re constantly asking themselves: “Is this person worth following?”

And a huge part of their answer comes down to respect. Do you respect their expertise? Their time? Their contributions? Their dignity as professionals?

If the answer is yes, they’ll stay. They’ll do their best work. They’ll tell their talented friends to come work for you.

If the answer is no, they’re already gone. They just haven’t told you yet.

The good news? Respect is entirely within your control. You don’t need budget approval. You don’t need HR sign-off. You just need to decide—every single day, in every single interaction—to treat your people with the respect they deserve.

That’s leadership with a capital L.

And it’s what keeps your best people from leaving.

If you’re struggling with retention or want to understand how your leadership behaviors are impacting your team, executive coaching can help you see the patterns you can’t see yourself. I offer a complimentary consultation—Please schedule a discussion here.